The Boy with the Heartbreaking Smile
by Maddie Grey
Summary: Jasper was always afraid of revealing his true self until he met his best-friend and secret love Edward Cullen. Life gets complicated for everyone involved when a flame from Edward's past moves back to town. Possible OT3, Jake/Edward/Jasper


AN: Sneaks in to try something a little different. Key word sneaks because this idea came to me randomly...I didn't spend too much time thinking about it so there is a high possibility that this could be hot trash. Lol. So since my other story 'The Sweetest Addiction' is coming to an end I thought why not at least post it and see if anyone likes this at all. If you do see anything in it worth continuing please review, because otherwise I will just assume that this is one of the bad ideas I came up with that should be swept under a rug and forgotten. So if this story is continued it will be a equal opportunity fic between **Edward/Jasper/Jacob**...I'm hesitant to call their relationship a triangle or an OT3, but if I do continue this the love these boys share would definitely be complicated. This fic should be heavy on the romance and comedy...a little drama. But lighter than TSA. Okay...enough from me. Time to test the waters...

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC's. Twilight is Stephanie Meyer's wonderful creation and I'm just having fun slashing.

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**The Boy with the Heartbreaking Smile**

Chapter 1- Deny, Deny, Deny

I flopped down on his bed and looked through the magazine. _A gay magazine_. Cock and all. I couldn't help but to think that Edward was trying to trap me. And if that was the case, I was on my way to failing the test. I took in a deep breath as I eyed the muscular men, some of them were hairy, and others were cleanly shaven. My cock stirred at the sight. I bit my lip. I had this urge to pull out my dick and start jacking off. But I couldn't. I wouldn't with Edward prowling around. I heard footsteps approaching. That was my cue to push the magazine away and crawl to the top of the bed. I was cool. I was calm.

For three years I had been best friends with Edward Cullen. We met in 8th grade. He was flunking all his classes, and I had just moved to Winterhaven, Tennessee from Lexington, Kentucky. Our teacher chose me to tutor Edward so he wouldn't flunk middle school English. We had a natural chemistry. He was funny and handsome, and I was awkward and shy. I trusted him. And overtime my feelings for him deepened into something more complicated. Lust and love. He was sexy, and he had this attitude that screamed that he didn't give a fuck. Edward Cullen was a step away from being a criminal, while I was shooting for Yale.

I tried to follow the rules whenever I could, and I guess just being around Edward kept things interesting. Not to mention when I was with him I didn't have to pretend to be someone else. The world knew me as Jasper Whitlock, outgoing, scholarly, and athletic. But Edward Cullen knew me on a deeper level. He knew most of my secrets. Especially the one that I struggled with the most. I had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I remember being scared about how people would react to me when I first found out. I was in 7th grade and still living in Lexington. When I told my friends it was as if everything had suddenly changed. They had questions. They asked me if having OCD meant I was crazy, and if I would have to go to a special school. I cried for days because I didn't want to be different. I didn't want to be labeled as anything. I just wanted to be me. I thought I could control the urges I had...some stronger than others but it never worked.

I didn't have the answers. And I hated being different. It killed me that it took me twice as long to grasp basic information because I was so busy doubting myself. I was constantly checking over answers, reading over words, because I had to get A's. But the best thing that happened to me was moving away from Lexington because I was able to give myself a second chance here.

No one had to know. No one except Edward because I trusted him enough to tell him that. And as I suspected when I told him the truth he treated me just the same. That made me feel good. I closed my eyes and laid down on his pillow. His whole room smelled like Fierce cologne and flowers. I trusted him with everything else except my sexuality. And I still wasn't sure entirely why that was.

Edward Cullen was complex, almost as complex as he was beautiful. He was an ass too. He loved to make people uncomfortable. He was inappropriate, and obnoxious. But he was also insightful and caring. Edward was someone that I could love one day. And be scared to death of the next. He made me feel fragile and full. And because of that I was scared to death of what confessing my love would mean in the grand scheme of things.

The cool air wafted in through the window. The moon was a silvery ball towering high in the sky. I looked down at my phone. This was probably the sixteenth time I checked to see if my parent's had called. I told them I was staying with Edward tonight, but I figured they might forget. I took in a deep breath and turned my phone over.

_My parent's know that I was staying with Edward_. I reminded myself. Maybe if I took out the battery I wouldn't worry about that anymore. But even if I did I knew that I would still check it. I sighed and placed my hands to my eyes. I needed a distraction. Something other than the half-naked men posters on Edward's light blue walls, or the pictures that he had snapped in photography class, or the flowers around his room. I reached for the gay magazine, and then I stopped. _No_. That was a trap remember? No.

Edward opened his room door. It felt like forever since he left to go supposedly make popcorn. Knowing him he squeezed in a quick jerk off session in between. I had never met anyone before with a sex drive like his. Sex was like eating to him. Sex was his chocolate. And he was my chocolate. I wanted to lick him from head to toe. No. _Stop_. He had a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a Jack Daniel's in the other. "Are you ready for this movie party Jazz?"

"Yeah. Sure." I said rubbing my hands together. "It took you long enough." I smiled softly. "Do you got anything else to drink though."

Edward smiled crookedly. "The goal is to get you drunk so we can do perverted things to each other. You won't _pretend_ to be drunk if I give you lemonade."

"I don't drink remember."

"I haven't forgotten." Edward hopped onto the bed beside me. "Don't you want to live a little Whitlock?"

"Yes I want to live, but living is two different things to us. And besides I think I left a candle lit in my room..."

"If you did leave a candle burning then Papa and Mama Whitlock will check after you." Edward said.

I looked down.

"Not saying that you aren't fully capable."

"Uh huh."

Edward placed his hand to my chest. "You're my favorite person in the world. Why are you so quick to think I would insult you. I think your quirks make you special. Besides who isn't strange in this little Tennessee town."

I smiled. This town was full of strange people.

He tilted his head back and chugged some of the liquid. "Now just try a sip. It's a party in your mouth. I guarantee it. But a party in your mouth isn't as fun as a party in the ass...but hey it'll do. Speaking of _ass_ how did you like my literature anyways?"

"I'm not sure what literature you're referring to because there are no books in your room." I quipped.

Edward grinned a little wider. He looked down at my jeans and bit his lip. "The cock mag blue eyes."

"I don't read that kind of stuff Ed."

He curled closer to me. He was wearing his Winterhaven High lacrosse shorts and a tee shirt. His green eyes blazed with lust, and the alcohol on his breath should've made him less attractive. _But it didn't_. When he got close like this, and I drunk in the burning green glow of his eyes, for a second, for a few seconds I thought I could give him my virginity. I could let him slide his dick in me and fuck me until this world was nothing but his red kisses and hot flesh. My intentions would be guided by love but his...well I knew he didn't love me.

I saw myself in a sea of guys. I wasn't the brightest anymore. I was dull and colorless. If I let him fuck me, fuck me without loving me, my best friend, then I couldn't walk away without being burned. I loved him in more ways that just lustfully. And so even though the lust was amped up enough to shock us both. I had to keep my tongue and hands to myself.

I started to count. I counted the flecks of hair that fell across his smooth forehead. How many times he blinked. And how many times he licked his lips. This was a game. A game to stop thinking about him because he was...no. He was my friend. Anything between us would just be...not right. Because he just wanted sex and I wanted love. Love and sex. My cheeks warmed uncontrollably. I started to count the freckles lightly dusting his cute nose.

He reached out and touched my cheek lightly. His touch was uncharacteristically loving. I swallowed and looked away. There was nothing else to count. Only time to think about. Seconds and minutes. Infinite desires. What I should do. And what I shouldn't do? I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to be kissed by a boy. By Edward. I wanted him to kiss me.

But his lips. He had kissed so many other boys before. He told me wild stories about handcuffs and police cars. Parks in the winter and sex on the docks. He slept with more people than I could remember, probably more than even he could remember. Kissing him would make me just another guy. Just another notch in the belt. Nothing special. Except I was sure I would be the craziest guy he'd ever kissed. Because only I would count the seconds that passed in between the soft dance of our mouths.

"Why don't we save the Jack Daniel's and popcorn for later? I'm interested in other things." He looked down at my lips. The static danced in the air. My heart lodged in my throat. I wanted to grab him. I wanted to run my hands through his hair. I wanted him to breathe air into my lungs. I wanted him to love me and not throw me away like some hopeless cause. I wanted him to fuck me.

Edward smiled. His green eyes exploded with golden light. He came closer. His thumb traced across my lips. I looked down at the ring on his hand. The silver caught my attention and held it there. "We've been best friends for three years and you still haven't told me the most important thing Baby J."

I closed my eyes.

"Look at me." Edward whispered softly.

"I can't."

"Why not." His lips nipped at my cheek.

A shudder traveled up my spine. I felt cold and then hot. His other hand slipped underneath my shirt. The cool breeze billowed the white curtains out. My fingers burned with the need to touch him. I had seen him naked so many times before. In the shower. Outside. I even saw him having sex with someone else. I walked in...and I pretended to be disgusted but really...I couldn't stop thinking with heart breaking fervor how I wished that that guy was me. I wished that I was under him, being fucked so hard that I couldn't even remember my name.

"Open your eyes." His lips traveled to my ear. He blew inside teasingly and then he bit down. I had to do everything in my power to keep from screaming out loud. I tried to remind myself that Edward's older sister Rosalie was in her room with her best-friend Ainsley, and their three year old brother Chase was sleeping in the room beside Edward's. He placed his hand to my heart.

"Why should we keep dancing around this when it's so obvious what we both want." Edward slung one leg around me. My eyes widened and I rested my fingers on his leg. "PS I'm not wearing any underwear. Just in case you want to hit it from the back or from the front. I'm not picky. This can be like Burger King for you. You can have it your way. All the pickle you can eat." He turned his head to the side to kiss me.

I gripped onto his shirt and pulled back.

"What's the sauce Baby J?"

I started counting again. All the reasons why I shouldn't do this.

Kissing him was like too much sugar. Bad for your health.

I wasn't sure if I was more in love or lust with him.

He was my best friend and I never heard him utter the word love to anyone.

Dangerous. All of this was dangerous. My heart was racing like a bomb was ticking in my chest. A bomb that threatened to tear me apart. Distort all my senses, and make me a hopeless slave to a kiss, to a forbidden passion that should never exist in the real world. _Reasons_. There were thousands of reasons I could think of but still...why was I even considering this.

I was _hard_.

He was purposely bouncing up and down on me. Edward smiled wickedly. I had seen this smile before. This was the same smile he flashed right before stealing Asher Brescia's car and driving it to Memphis. Everyone warned me about him. They said he would mess up my chances of getting into a good school, because he would get in some kind of trouble that would drag me down with him.

But I stayed. I accepted him. I found a reason to excuse every idiotic action he made. And there was a list of those too. _A long list_. But still there were a few times when I looked in his eyes and I saw Heaven or at least what I imagined it to be. And his smile, that ever changing flash of red lips and blindingly white teeth was nothing short of heartbreaking.

Edward looked down, his nose rested against my forehead. I could feel his breath tickle my nose. There was nothing else to count.

"Do you think I'm scum Baby J?"

"I think..."

He rested his hands on my cheek. "I think...I think that..." He mimicked. Edward's eyebrows furrowed together. "Why are you suddenly tongue tied?"

"I'm not..."  
"Shh." He placed his hands to my lips. "Why don't you trust me?"

"I trust you Ed."

"I know your gay." He whispered.

"I am not."

"The pole..." Edward sat up and patted my rock hard erection. "The pole poking against my ass tells me that you _are._"

My eyes hardened. I looked away from him.

"It's been ages since I told you that I was into hot dogs." Edward smiled softly. "You don't have to be scared of me Jasper. I'll hurt everyone in this world before I hurt you."

"I'm not gay." I lied again. The slow inkling of disappointment crept through me.

Edward stared at me for a few seconds as if he didn't believe me. He arched his back and gently stroked my cheek. His touch sent the same heart stopping shocks through my skin. "Prove it."

"What?"

"Prove that you don't want me."

I swallowed. Why was this so important to him? Why couldn't he just drop this. The room was unbearably hot right now. I needed air. _Air_. Edward smiled again as if he knew that he had me in a tight corner. His hand balled around the fabric of my shirt.

"Your heart is racing a mile a minute."

Luckily for me his cell phone vibrated on the press. Edward casually looked at it. And then back at me. "I'm not done with you Jazz."

I tried to sit up but he rested his hand against my chest pinning me down to his pillow. His pillow that smelled intoxicatingly like him.

"What's up Carebear?"

_Oh good Chloe_. All she had to do was open her mouth or just show up on a street. The girl was like a stoplight. She attracted attention like it was nobody's business. I tried to will my erection to go down as Edward spoke to Chloe Luray. Go down. Go down.

"Edward!" Rosalie yelled from her room.

"Your sister is calling you." I said trying to get him off of me. But he was still bouncing up and down and making faces, twisting his lips, and grabbing onto me. "Yeah Jasper. Yeah. Fuck me harder. Oh. Uh huh...Oh no Chloe. I'm just dry humping Jasper right now."

I swallowed as I heard Rosalie's thunderous footsteps. Even in her own house she had to made her presence known. It sounded like she was wearing high-heels now. "I think she is just going to barge in here..." I said through the open spaces in his hands.

"You want to hit up the club tonight?" Edward said completely ignoring me. "Sure. Sure. Yeah. I still have your fake ID. Oh and BTW Whitlock and his golden curls are coming along for the ride."

"What...wait. No?"

"Baby you are." He said.

Rosalie threw open the door. "_Edward_." she said sweetly.

I heard the seeds of dishonesty in her voice. Because usually when I was over she was yelling like a fish woman on the streets of Boston.

"Carebear I gotta go. A monster just stepped in my room and I feel her six eyes and rank breath on my neck. Find some lie to tell your parents 'cause Baby J and I will swing by church headquarters in fifteen." Edward tossed his cell phone onto the press and turned around to look at his sister. "Can't you tell I'm busy Rose? Jasper has been begging me for a blow job all day and I was just about to deliver the goods before you came in here looking like Godzilla with curlers."

"Ha ha." Rosalie placed her hand on her hip. "Ainsley and I are going to play Bingo."

"Bingo?" Edward scoffed. "What's next dentures and a sugar daddy named Otis."

Rosalie wrinkled her nose. "Ha ha ha. _Slutward_. Jasper I'd be careful if I were you because his ass is like a Wal-Mart. Cheap and non-stop traffic. Ring me up an STD please."

I heard an audible sigh beside Rosalie. Ainsley Sinclair clearly wasn't pleased. She had been best-friends with Rosalie since they were kids according to Edward. In my opinion Ainsley was much kinder than Rosalie. If I had to pick between the two. I would pick her. But I could be biased because Ainsley and I actually had a conversation that didn't involve shopping, money, and the newest Forbes list.

"Ainsley it couldn't be more obvious that you don't want to go. " She wrapped her arm around Ainsley and pulled her close. Ainsley was beautiful. She had deep almond orbs, smooth chocolate skin, and legs that seemed to go on forever. I could imagine that the teenage girls at our school felt incredibly self-conscious around them.

"Rose can't you see they're busy." Ainsley looked quickly in my direction. "Hey Jasper."

"Hey." I smiled and waved. Ainsley's grandfather owned a used bookstore in downtown Winterhaven, and when I first moved here I used to go there all the time. I needed a place where I could just get away...and for some reason reading books for leisure was the perfect escape.

"It's billionaire night." Rosalie pointed out making one last desperate attempt. "Ainsley our future husbands could be there."

Rosalie was nice enough but she often came off as flaky. Everything was about money to her. Money and nice rides. Expensive purses. Nice clothes. Establishing her role as the HBIC at our high school. For me it got a little tiring listening to her because I tried to find a bone in her body that wasn't superficial, but still after three years I was still looking. I felt guilty for admitting that.

"Ainsley you're lucky I love you or else I would kick you to the curb for Meredith Jones and her fake ass Payless shoes."

Ainsley rolled her eyes. "Rose I'm going home."

"What?"

"I hate Bingo." Ainsley said. "And all the guys there are going to be 40 and crusty. I don't want an old man that looks like Hugh Hefner that is looking for a hot piece." Ainsley looked Rosalie up and down. "And honey you're just a step from turning circus tricks for a cool dollar bill. And I love you more than anything but _Bingo_...girl that's like asking Tiger Woods wife to forgive his cheating ass."

Rosalie gasped. "Ainsley! I can't go to Bingo by myself. I'll look like a _loser_."

"Then why don't you ask Meredith and her Payless shoes." Ainsley walked off

Edward made a cat noise and then clawed at my shirt. "I guarantee they'll make up by tomorrow. Crazy ass broads. Now get up. We're going out on the town."

"I can't."

"Why not."

Because I don't want to see it. I don't want to see you make out with some other guy. It's not okay. Even if I try to convince myself that it is. I like you. I've always liked you. And liking you scares me. You're the safest person in the world to me. When I'm scared or sad you calm me. You always make time for me. But in the end I know that it's just the chase. You want me because you never had me. I'm something new. But I want you for different reasons...I want you because when I'm with you I don't feel like Jasper Whitlock with OCD. I just feel like me. Nothing less. Nothing more.

"Come." He whispered.

I looked into his eyes. "Please. I promise I won't drink or get us pulled over. Oh. And I kinda need you anyways Jazz. My license is suspended and Chloe's freak ass parents won't let her drive...because they think the car is an invention of the devil so...unless you want Rainbow Brite and me calling you from a compound under the jail...please come."

Edward called Chloe _Rainbow Brite_ because of the collection of colorful wigs, and colorful clothes she wore. She expressed herself through the way she dressed because her parents were religious to the point of insanity. They didn't like boys unless they were in youth group...they didn't believe in sweets because they thought sweets was the devil's medium. And sex...well if they could legally make her a nun at sixteen. They would.

She was sweet. I liked her. Despite her eccentric qualities. Chloe was someone I could talk to. I hadn't told her about my OCD yet, but she did know about Edward...and how my feelings for him masochistically went past friendship. She was the one that told me that Edward wasn't ready for love. It was all still a game to him. And she told me not to put my heart on the line for him...because right now he would break it, even if it was accidentally.

"Come," He said again. Edward paused for a second and then he added. "Come in my mouth or go to the club."

"Fine. I'll go to the club just don't get me arrested." I could only hope that I didn't end up regretting this at the end of the night.

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